Dear My Neighbors

Often when I'm walking the dog, my neighbors will drive by and wave. This presents a bit of a dilemma to me.

You see, I'm just not very good at remembering cars. So when I see a car driving down the street, I rarely think "Oh, there's Jay" or "Hi, Jeannie!". Instead I'm usually thinking "Why doesn't that car have dents like mine?"

And it's hard to see through the glass to see who's driving, so I usually can only tell at the very last minute that it's actually someone I know, and that they have been waving at me the whole time they've been driving down the street while I've been squinting at the car like Mr. Magoo.

When I finally realize who it is, I frantically try to wave as they flash by. But I've got one hand on the dog leash, and he's pulling hard. So I have to wave with the other hand. That sounds simple, but the fact is that I usually have a plastic bag full of dog poop in that hand. So what to do? I can't be rude, so I raise the hand that has the bag of dog poop as the best wave I can do.

Sigh. It's not very neighborly, I know...

So to my dear neighbors: when you are driving down the street waving at me, and I stare suspiciously at you and then look like I'm about to throw a bag of dog**** at you, just remember that I'm being as neighborly as I can. I really *do* like you people....